"Bad Decisions Make Good Stories"
"Bad Decisions Make Good Stories"
Outdoor writer, retired warden and old soldier Bill Crisp's outdoor columns can be accessed here.
Stories on all types of fishing, hunting, mushrooming and access to great apparel. Bill's articles are almost funny, humor based fiction filled, non fiction stories. If we're lucky there will be tips of the trades and seasonal updates!
I 49:2 I 6:8 P 18:34
River waters have reached Walleye spawning temps! The Fish and Boat Commission has started its pre-season trout stockings.
There I was, sitting in one of my favorite places in the world and instead of relaxing, I think I was experiencing a little bit of…panic. I exaggerate, maybe it was not a full-blown panic but the hyper nervous jolt you get right before you leave an airplane and the question comes up of whether or not you put on your parachute that day.
There I was minding my own business, relaxing, and waiting to get to the fabled fishing hot spot to get shown up, yet again when the command came down, “Run the trolling motor, Bill.” Now this may seem like an innocuous request to a lot of boating angers and I admit it should be, but it is not. You see, I am a retired Waterways Conservation Officer. I have been paid to operate and teach others how to operate a myriad of boats on a myriad of different waters for over two decades. However, of all the things I am not up to speed on, it is trolling motors.
Sure, I have used them, even owned one once. That was when they were not using rocket science technology though. While working for the boating agency, we did not do any trolling for work, although it would have been nice. The Commonwealth was afraid that we would use our boats to catch fish so our patrol boats were stripped of any equipment that could assist in that endeavor. That kind of hijinks was reserved for executive staff and politicians. So, we got good at fishing using a standard issue, 225 hp four stroke Yamaha instead. The trolling motors I used were simple, a throttle on the handle and you pointed the motor where you wanted to go like any old outboard.
In case you have missed it, trolling motors have changed tremendously. They have taken a bigger leap forward than phones. In fact, you can use your phone to run a trolling motor now. I still marvel at the invention of the foot pedal to steer one so an angler can keep his hands free. The foot pedals still come on most modern trolling motors but they are intimidating, too. There are so many directions, levers, and buttons on new trolling motor footpads, it feels like a guy needs to go barefoot and have fifteen toes to run them.
There is also the controller that hangs around the boater’s neck that talks to the motor from anywhere on the boat. It is not just forward, backward, right, and left anymore either. The motor can put itself in and out of the water, no more cursing at a rope to release it. Then it can take you back to fishing spots that were loaded into GPS in any sequence you like. They can hold you in one spot in a torrid current, in effect, acting like an anchor which is a great fishing advantage as anyone who has drifted over the hot spot and tried to find it again knows. The darn things can unload the boat off the ramp while you park your trailer then come into dock to get you if you would like!
So, yeah, I do not know what buttons make the new trolling motors do all those things. It is too much to just jump in there and give a guy a break anymore, until you get signed off after four years of computer training. A guy hits the wrong button and that trolling motor may vote for me and give my wife a back rub! That makes me very nervous! Hit another button to fix it and it starts buying stock and to try to stop it, I’ll have to download an app or something and that will bring it’s own set of problems. The voice interrupted my anxious thoughts, “Bill…? Gonna grab the troller?” Time to think fast so I answered, “Yeah, buddy, I just gotta get up and get situated and adjust the ball bearings, it’s all ball bearings these days. Whooah!” SPLASH! “Bill! BILL! Man overboard! Do not worry, load the app and your lifejacket will inflate! The trolling motor will pick you up!” Yep, I cleverly dodged yet another problem and saved myself the embarrassment of ignorance all at the same time. Good thing I always remember to put my life jacket on at the beginning of the day!
See you along the stream
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